Week 1 of the NFL season is just about in the books(we still have Chicago and Minnesota tonight) but, we have already learned a lot about each NFL team. Each week I am going to breakdown of things that we learned about each team. We’re going in no particular order here so don’t pay any attention to how the teams are listed. Let’s get into it.
Philadelphia Eagles:
I have a full breakdown of the takeaways from the Eagles first game coming a little later(Since this is mainly a Philly sports blog) on so this is going to be very short.
Jalen Carter is dumb, but Dak spit first.
Jalen Hurts is a top 3 QB in the league.
AJ Brown will be just fine.
Dallas Goedert might have a career year.
Still the best team in the NFC.
Dallas Cowboys:
Spitters are quitters so Dak may have already quit on the team.
Ceedee Lamb is still great when going against shitty corners(Adoree Jackson)
Javonte Williams is going to be a top RB in the league this season if he stays healthy.
Jerry Jones is probably regretting trading Micah Parsons.
Fans are already hanging a banner about almost beating the defending Super Bowl champions.
Probably going to finish 8-9
Los Angeles Chargers:
Madison Beer Justin Herbert has saved the Chargers.
Their defense looked pretty solid, stopped the Chiefs when they needed to.
Harbaugh may have become a pass first offense now.
Omarion Hampton looked decent but maybe too much hype around him.
Kansas City Chiefs:
Travis Kelce was pissed about his fiancé liking Xavier Worthy.
Their OLine still stinks.
We saw just how not deep of a team they are once Worthy was out.
Rashee Rice being suspended is going to kill them.
Mahomes is a bitch and is taking advantage of the rules(see below)
Miami Dolphins:
Bad, like so bad.
Tua might still be concussed.
Tyreek Hill was already whining and complaining.
Mike McDaniel is still not a good coach and he should be on the hot seat.
We literally saw them put in Zach Wilson…
I’d bet good money Quinn Ewers starts a few games this season.
Indianapolis Colts:
Daniel Jones is good and was just dragged down by Daboll and the Giants.
Tyler Warren is going to be this generations Dallas Clark.
Defense looked great, also could have just been playing against a QB with CTE.
I love this guy, and will root for the Colts for him. Shout out Seth! give him a follow.
Pittsburgh Steelers:
Aaron Rodgers may be back or he was just really pissed at the Jets.
Their defense got carved up by Justin Fields?
Rodgers did a great job spreading the ball around.
Mike Tomlin is going to secure at least five more years as head coach if Rodgers keeps playing this way.
Played the Jets, so don’t want to commit to saying they are fully back yet.
New York Jets:
Jets have a QB? Maybe? Justin Fields looked great but will it last.
Run game really showed out against a tough defense.
Still the Jets by losing.
Really need a number 2 WR to take some pressure off Garrett Wilson.
Carolina Panthers:
Bryce Young is very much still Bryce Young.
McMillan is going to be a very good receiver.
I’m ready to call Xavier Lagette a bust.
Chuba Hubbard is a reliable RB.
It’s going to be another long year Panthers fans.
Jacksonville Jaguars:
Jags might be back? But Played the Panthers so not ready to give them any credit yet.
Trevor Lawerence played okay.
Travis Etienne looked like the old Travis Etienne.
I am already sick of hearing about Travis Hunter.
Brian Thomas Jr only having one catch is a problem.
Las Vegas Raiders:
Daaaaaaaaaaaa Raiders are Geno Smith good.
Brock Bowers is still so so so good.
They are screwed if Brock Bowers is actually injured.
Defense looked pretty good considering I can’t name anyone other than Maxx Crosby
Ashton Jeanty was underwhelming even though he scored a touchdown.
New England Patriots:
Drake Maye is not Tom Brady and probably won’t ever come close.
Mike Vrabel has a lot of work to do with this team.
Kayshon Boutte showed out.
They really need to establish a run game.
Not going to win the AFC East but could be a playoff team.
Arizona Cardinals:
Kyler Murray is still short, like really short he might have shrunk.
It feels like James Conner has been there for 100 years.
They need to remember they have Marvin Harrison Jr, he needs to be used more.
I have no comments on their defense because they played Spencer Rattler.
New Orleans Saints:
Desperately needs a QB, probably more than the Panthers TBH.
Alvin Kamara has to be miserable and will probably ask for a trade.
Chris Olave might be dead again.
Their defense/coaching staff should try and bring back bountygate.
Washington Commanders:
Really need to change the name back to the Redskins already.
Honestly not very impressive performance out of them.
“Bill” Croskey-Meritt looks like a steal.
Jayden Daniels looked good but it was also the Giants.
If Terry didn’t get paid he’d probably be pissed about how many touches Deebo got.
Their defense held the Giants to 6 points. However, it’s still the New York Giants so not that impressive.
New York Giants:
The Giants are still hilariously bad.
Russy may have already lost his starting job.
Brian Daboll actually stinks and I kind of feel bad for Giant fans(No I dont).
Defense did a ok job containing the Commanders.
Malik Nabers already might demand a trade.
Cincinnati Bengals:
They survived but really didn’t look great.
Their defense still needs a lot of help.
Almost forgot Tee Higgins was on the team for like the first half. Same with Ja’Marr Chase like how did these guys combined for only 5 catches and less than 100 yards?!?
Chase Brown is ready to take that next step as a top RB.
Cleveland Browns:
Brownies still Brownied missing and XP and field goal cost them a win.
Why is Joe Flacco the only consistently good QB for them?
Myles Garrett is the best defensive player in football.
Shedeur Sanders is a good teammate.
Denver Broncos:
Broncos Bo Nix hates to see a blitz coming, really struggled when the Titans brought pressure.
Disappointing game out of them, really expected their offense to do more.
RJ Harvey and JK Dobbins could be a electric backfield.
Courtland Sutton is going to have a big year again.
Not a good sign to just squeak by the Titans who are going to be BAD.
Tennessee Titans:
Cam Ward is a rookie and Sean Peyton made him look like one.
They need to get him weapons, but it’s gonna be a long year Titans fans.
Tony Pollard is not gonna be a good enough run game for them.
Defense looked better than expected vs what should be a high scoring offense.
Cam Ward deserved better with some of the balls his WR missed.
Seattle Seahawks:
Sam Darnold is just a white Geno Smith, so the Seahawks are gonna be a borderline playoff team.
Zach Charbonnet is RB1 until he gets hurt then Kenneth Walker will be back to RB1 until he gets hurt and then Charbonnet will be back to RB1.
JSN breakout year incoming, like he’s going to have a huge year.
Really blows my mind how they always have such a steady defense.
San Francisco 49ers:
Brock Purdy is Jimmy G 2.0 and very MID as the kids say.
CMC is washed and he’s one bad step from his calf exploding again.
Ricky Pearsall is a DAWG, and will be a WR1 for the next few years.
George Kittle getting hurt is going to drastically change their offense.
Defense is still solid but not as scary as it used to be.
Los Angeles Rams:
Stafford is old but still okay for now. But this might be his last year.
Kyren Williams is Mr. Consistent and needs more touches.
Puka Nacua is still so good.
Bailed out by their defense, which is going to be very good again this year.
Houston Texans:
CJ Stroud should be better than how he has played.
They need OLine help like ASAP.
DeMeco Ryans might not be the guy anymore.
Nick Chubb can still run like a beast.
They are going to need a lot more out of Nico Collins.
Detroit Lions:
Ben Johnson may have been the reason their offense was what it was.
44 yards between Gibbs and Montgomery is just not good enough.
Goff looked like a shell of himself.
We may be witnessing the closing of their Super Bowl window.
I still trust Dan Campbell to get things right and think it was just one bad game.
Green Bay Packers:
Fans and players still have to be on cloud nine from the Parsons trade.
Their defense is even better than it was last year.
Probably the 2nd best team in the NFC.
Jordan Love did his job, still needs to learn how to slide.
Josh Jacobs is a touchdown machine.
Buffalo Bills:
Josh Allen is still Josh Allen.
Defense needs some work, Joey Bosa was not enough of an addition.
It very well might be the Bills year after that comeback win.
Dalton Kincaid bounce back year incoming.
They have too many running backs that do the same thing.
Still one of the best stadium atmospheres in all of sports.
Putting them as the 2nd best team in the AFC behind the Ravens because they lose that game if Derrick Henry doesn’t fumble.
Baltimore Ravens:
Derrick Henry is aging backwards and it’s scary. But an all time bad fumble cost them the game.
Lamar was pissed about not winning the MVP.
Kyle Hamilton is the best safety in the NFL.
They have replaced Justin Tucker will another Justin Tucker minus the sexual assault stuff.
Hands down best regular season team in the AFC even with the loss.
Let me know what you guys thought of this, hope you found it entertaining and it gave you a nice quick breakdown of what went down in week 1 of the NFL season.
-Walsh
The Philly Phan Cave 
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