Well.

Week 2 happened.

After going 11-5 in Week 1, I came crashing back down to Earth last week, going 7-8 on the 15 picks.

Yes, I know there were 16 games.

No, I’m not going to make up a Thursday pick after the fact and pretend I picked the winner.

We’re going with what was actually published. Integrity matters around here.

So after two weeks, I’m sitting at 18-13 on my picks.

Not terrible.

Not great.

Basically, I’m still just one good Sunday away from convincing myself I know exactly what I’m doing.

And that Sunday starts now.

There are some absolute sickos on the Week 3 schedule. We’ve got Ravens-Cowboys being played in Brazil, Rams-Broncos on Sunday night, and the Eagles heading into Chicago for Monday Night Football.

So let’s get into it.

THURSDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL

Atlanta Falcons @ Green Bay Packers

Walsh’s Winner: Green Bay Packers

I’m not overthinking this one.

The Packers are at home. Jordan Love has looked good. And Atlanta is coming into Lambeau on a short week.

Give me Green Bay.

Plus, I need to start the week with a win because I don’t need to spend another four days thinking about how I got absolutely fucking smoked.

THE EARLY SLATE

Los Angeles Chargers @ Buffalo Bills

Walsh’s Winner: Buffalo Bills

I picked the Chargers last week.

That was stupid.

They lost to the Raiders by 12 points and made me look like an idiot.

So naturally, I’m going to pick against them this week.

Buffalo is at home, and I don’t see the Chargers suddenly figuring everything out against the Bills.

Carolina Panthers @ Cleveland Browns

Walsh’s Winner: Carolina Panthers

The Panthers absolutely fucking destroyed Atlanta last week.

34-3.

THIRTY-FOUR TO THREE.

Meanwhile, Cleveland is Cleveland.

I’m not saying Carolina is suddenly winning the Super Bowl.

I’m just saying I don’t think I’m going to overthink this one.

New York Jets @ Detroit Lions

Walsh’s Winner: Detroit Lions

The Jets actually gave Green Bay a game last week.

And then they lost in overtime.

Unfortunately for them, they’re now going into Detroit.

I’m taking the Lions at home.

Also, I refuse to believe the Jets are going to make me respect them this early in the season.

Houston Texans @ Indianapolis Colts

Walsh’s Winner: Houston Texans

Houston is 0-2.

Indianapolis is 0-2

I trust the Texans more than the Colts to not start 0-3.

New England Patriots @ Jacksonville Jaguars

Walsh’s Winner: Jacksonville Jaguars

I picked Jacksonville last week.

They lost.

Am I going to learn from my mistake?

Absolutely not.

I’m going right back to Jacksonville.

This is what we call confidence.

Or stupidity.

We’ll find out Sunday.

Kansas City Chiefs @ Miami Dolphins

Walsh’s Winner: Kansas City Chiefs

The Chiefs are finally 1-1 after beating Indianapolis last week.

Miami is 0-2.

Patrick Mahomes is Patrick Mahomes.

I’m not going to sit here and convince myself the Dolphins are suddenly going to figure out how to stop this offense.

Tennessee Titans @ New York Giants

Walsh’s Winner: Tennessee Titans

The Giants are 0-2.

The Titans are 0-2.

Somebody has to win.

I guess.

I’m taking the Titans with Dart being out. I’m going to willingly watch this game and then somehow have an opinion about it.

Cincinnati Bengals @ Pittsburgh Steelers

Walsh’s Winner: Cincinnati Bengals

The Steelers scored three fucking points last week.

THREE.

I don’t care that they’re at home.

I’m taking Cincinnati.

Joe Burrow, please don’t make me regret this.

Actually, knowing my luck, he absolutely will.

Seattle Seahawks @ Washington Commanders

Walsh’s Winner: Seattle Seahawks

Seattle is 2-0.

Washington just got absolutely embarrassed by Dallas.

And yes, I picked Washington last week.

That did not go well.

So we’re correcting that mistake immediately.

THE 4:05 SLATE

Arizona Cardinals @ San Francisco 49ers

Walsh’s Winner: San Francisco 49ers

The 49ers are 2-0 and just dropped 35 points on Miami.

Arizona has not exactly given me a reason to believe they’re walking into San Francisco and winning this game.

Easy enough.

Minnesota Vikings @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Walsh’s Winner: Tampa Bay Buccaneers

This is the part where I make the same mistake twice.

I picked Tampa last week.

They lost.

And now I’m picking them again.

Why?

Because apparently I enjoy suffering.

Give me the Bucs at home.

THE LATE SLATE

Las Vegas Raiders @ New Orleans Saints

Walsh’s Winner: New Orleans Saints

The Raiders are 2-0.

The Raiders.

2-0.

I don’t know what the fuck is happening either.

But the Saints are frisky and I like frisky so I’m taking the Saints.

Baltimore Ravens @ Dallas Cowboys

Walsh’s Winner: Baltimore Ravens

This game is in Brazil.

Because apparently the NFL decided Dallas and Baltimore wasn’t weird enough already.

The Ravens are coming off a loss to New Orleans, while Dallas just dropped 37 on Washington.

I think Baltimore bounces back.

And I really don’t want to spend Monday morning explaining how I picked the Cowboys.

SUNDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL

Los Angeles Rams @ Denver Broncos

Walsh’s Winner: Los Angeles Rams

This is probably my favorite game of the week outside of the Eagles.

The Rams are coming off a dominant win over the Giants, while Denver is coming off a win over Jacksonville.

Give me Matthew Stafford.

Give me the Rams.

And give me another game where I’m going to spend three hours screaming at my television because one stupid play is going to determine whether I’m right.

MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL

Philadelphia Eagles @ Chicago Bears

Come on.

You already know.

Walsh’s Winner:GO BIRDS DICKHEAD.

The Eagles are 2-0 after surviving Tennessee last week, and now they head to Chicago for Monday Night Football. L

Is this going to be a comfortable Eagles win?

Absolutely not.

Because when has anything involving the Eagles ever been comfortable?

They’re going to make me sweat.

They’re going to make me question every life decision I’ve ever made.

Jalen Hurts is probably going to take a few unnecessary hits that make me want to throw something through my television.

And then they’re going to win.

At least that’s what I’m telling myself.

After going 11-5 in Week 1 and 7-8 on the 15 picks in Week 2, I’m sitting at 18-13 on the picks so far.

The goal this week?

Get back on track.

Preferably by going something stupid like 13-3.

Will that happen?

Probably fucking not.

But that’s never stopped me before.

Let’s get weird.

Bet responsibly. If you choose to gamble, only bet what you can afford to lose.